SUFJAN STEVENS.

Sufjan Stevens album art from The BQE

I remember being a teen in my local library back in my hometown in Finland, either after school or skipping a class. The year was 2005 most likely and I was browsing through the cd's. My new best friend, that I had met by being pirates on a Peter Pan musical, was on the other side of the shelf going through the cd's just like I was. A lot of my picks were guided by NME music magazine from England and whatever my best friend had talked about. She was older than me and much more immersed in the UK indie culture than I was. 

I was flipping through the cd's on the shelf and came across a beautiful cover art of a swan. The name sounded interesting and I remember feeling a little nervous of what if this wasn't going to be good music and my new best friend would judge me for it. What I had found was Sufjan Stevens. Little did I know that I had stumbled upon a musical genius widely adored in the queer community many years to come. 

Back to past

The first album I listened to from Sufjan Stevens was Seven Swans. As I'm re-listening to The Dress Looks Nice on You I am immediately pulled back to the time where I was crushing over my best friend and wanting her to see how amazing she was even in the depths of anxiety and depression. 

Sufjan gained a lot of fame for the album Illinois, especially for the song Chicago which was for example on the soundtrack of the movie Little Miss Sunshine, another absolutely favourite of mine. Of course this song would become something I would connect in much deeper level after half living in Chicago for a while. I still listen to it on repeat and reminisce the time we'd drive from Chicago through Indiana to Michigan. Or when it was so hot I'd sit in my underwear on the couch that turned to bed in the living room, drinking iced coffees and turning the air conditioning off and on depending if it was thundering or not. Or when we found a dresser from Goodwill and we'd sand and paint it purple on our fire escape to make it fit our aesthetic better. 

I can't remember when or where I found the album The BQE but I fell in love with the art and the short film that went along with the music. I've always enjoyed Sufjan Stevens' visuals as much as the music. From the stage presence to the album art to the music videos. Everything just inspires me and makes me feel emotions that have not been on the forefront. 

Album art from The BQE

An album I became obsessed with and listened to on repeat for a while when I was in turmoil with my own relationships was Carrie & Lowell. Drawn to the blood hits hard with the lyrics, excerpt below:

For my prayer has always been love
What did I do to deserve this?

With blood on my sleeve
Delilah, avenge my grief
How? God of Elijah
How? God of Elijah

The other song that has lyrics that really rush the emotions back from that time are from The Only Thing. This song is not for the faint of heart. 

The only thing that keeps me from cutting my arm
Cross hatch, warm bath, Holiday Inn after dark
Signs and wonders, water stain writing the wall
Daniel's message, blood of the moon on us all

Do I care if I despise this, nothing else matters, I know
In a veil of great disguises, how do I live with your ghost?

Should I tear my eyes out now?
Everything I see returns to you somehow

The film Call me by your name also got Sufjan Stevens' back to the mainstream with songs Mystery of Love, Visions of Gideon and Futile Devices.  As much as I didn't care for the film I absolutely love these songs and I'm glad Sufjan touched more people with his music through fame of a film. 

Back to the Beginning

When Sufjan put out the singles leading up to the album A Beginner's Mind that he collaborated on with Angelo De Augustine, I got excited for the new music as once again there were songs that talk directly to something deep within me. The musical landscapes pull at different emotions and paint a picture of the feelings I didn't even realise would be within me. 

The pair created the album inspired by movies they watched. Back to Oz is quite obvious but the main title song Beginner's Mind got it's inspiration from the Keanu Reeves movie Point Break. It's Your Own Body and Mind was inspired by Spike Lee's She's Gotta Have It. I really like this way of being inspired by one medium of art to create another.

Olympus reminds me of the album Seven Swans. The simplicity of the piano, gentle soundscapes and repetitive lyric lines remind me of the same songs I originally fell in love with. Back to Oz feels like a breathe of fresh air with the guitar in the beginning but still very much signature Sufjan. This song fills me with joy and makes me want to create.

I don't go to gigs a lot anymore (well during covid times not at all) but a gig I'd want to go to would be Sufjan Steven's. I've never got to see him live and it is a dream to be able to hear the songs live and feel the energy it brings out of people around me. 

I have to also note that I was so delighted to see that Sufjan Stevens' official site is listed as sufjan.com which is a tumblr based blog. We're all here still on these old platforms eh? And all the music can be found music.sufjan.com on bandcamp. 

Be kind to yourself and others!